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Friday, February 28, 2014

intimacy issues

Scene: 1
Thermodynamics lecture.
U know how lectures can get boring at times and even the slightest chance to gather amusement should be capitalized. So there I was, minding my own business, pretending to take notes, when suddenly the rarest kind of Homo sapiens in a mechanical class caught my attention. One of the only two girls in my class had both her hands in her bag and was what seemed to me, doodling on her phone. Now she was sitting right across me and I couldn’t resist the temptation of fooling around a little. So when the prof was busy scribbling on the board, thinking that what he is teaching is more important than life itself, I pointed towards that girl and said “ sir, she’s using her mobile in the class”. No no no… don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want her to get into trouble. I said it just loud enough for her and the guys around me to listen and have a good laugh about it. And people chuckled. Now who doesn’t appreciate recognition! As soon as I realized that my small quip had turned into something of an amusement for my friends, I continued my stupid fooling around thing. I kept pointing at her and an evil yet weird smile erupted on my face as I kept chanting the words, “sir mobile sir, she using a phone sir!” much to her discomfort, she kept shooing me and pleaded me to shut my mouth. My neighboring friends were all in splits. Who would quit such a joke when its garnering the most laughs...? So I got unmindful of things around me and kept pestering her.
Right when I had my hand stretched out and my finger pointing towards her, with a devilish smile on my face, the prof turned around! Oh shit!
“What’s going on here? You! Stand-up”
My hand retracted back faster than a spring action mechanism and my smile… well it persisted.
I stood up slowly thinking, ‘shit!! Fatt gayi!’
“What’s going on between you two?” he barked.
In life you eventually reach such a point, where you can neither take a right nor a left. I was stuck in a similar dilemma. Neither could I say that she was using her phone, because … let’s face it… I should have been a jerk to do that… nor could I say that I was just having some fun because your class is more boring than a Zimbabwe Bangladesh test match.
If my years of experience has taught me anything it’s this – there’s one word that always tries its level best to get you out of such sticky situations.
“Sorry sir” *with the puppy dog eyes* well… I tried my best even though I can’t pull it off for shit!
“GET OUT OF MY CLASS”
So much for that! I looked down, got out of my seat and tried to scoot off in shame.
Right when I was crossing him, he caught me by my collar and said, “what the hell do you think you are doing in my class huh!? Who do you think you are? You can show your intimacy outside the class. Not here. Get out now and don’t enter my class without the HOD’s letter. Bloody boys think they can cut past me…”
I scuffled off as soon as I could.
When I left the class there was only one thought running through my mind; what did mean by intimacy??  What the hell! The way these professors throw around the word “intimacy” surprises me! Since when did point toward a girl and smiling like a jackass become “intimacy”!! Some things I’ll never understand!
Epilogue: well, I got to know later that day that after I left the class the prof asked the girl what was going on between us both (we’re married sir, do you have a problem with that?). I met that girl later that day and said sorry to her and to my surprise she said sorry to me too! Such a sweet girl! J I attended his lecture the very next day without any letter or anything. As lucky as I was, he had forgotten all about it...

All’s well that ends well J